I grew up learning and reading all about the great heroes of the faith: Martin Luther, Mother Theresa, Corrie ten Boom, Charles Spurgeon, Elizabeth Elliot, John Wesley, etc. Somewhere along the line of reading about them I began to believe that if I didn't become one of them that my life would be forfeit. I believed that if I didn't save thousands for Christ and get my name in the history books of faith then my life had not been lived to its fullest potential.
I wrote in my journal, "My greatest fear in life is to be just another Christian who lives a comfortable easy life and that's it."
This belief was saturated in a performance mindset. I had to DO things to earn God's love and make him proud of me. If the world didn't see me as a hero of faith then I had failed. That is all such a lie.
This morning my faithful God opened my eyes to a new truth:
I AM FREE TO BE A NOBODY
It was through reading Streams of the Desert by L.B. Cowman.
I am free to be just another name, just another girl, just another person because I will NEVER be that in the eyes of God. And if I will never be that in the eyes of God then what do I have to prove here on earth? Nothing. I don't have to save thousands, I don't have to heal hundreds or perform miracles and wonders. All I am have to do is love God and love others. And even that is up to God to do through me. So you see, I have nothing to do but be me.
I don't have to search out and strive to be a great leader or important person in the world's eyes. I just have to be faithful in the large and the little. God will give me the strength to do both. But if all my life encounters is the little then so be it, for it shall only be small in the eyes of the world.
My life is the Lord's to lead. He may not lead me to grandiose things according to the world's eyes, but in His eyes they are mighty. I don't have to make a name for myself. i don't have to go down in any history books because my name is already in the most important book of all, The Book of Life.
It was never even supposed to be about my name. This world tells us that if we don't make a name for ourselves we will be forgotten. Everyone wants to be famous because they feel like if they just make a name for themselves then...THEN they will be somebody. If people will remember them, then they can be at peace. The irony is that they already are a somebody. You already ARE a somebody to Someone. He wants you to be the you He created you to be. You don't have to be famous or be anyone else. When you try to live the life of another then you lose all the great things God intended for you to be and do.
So today I let go of the burden of having to make something of myself. God already did that. He made me Sophia. And for me...that is enough because HE thinks it is.
If we can make God's name famous, even if ours is forgotten, then our lives have fulfilled a glorious purpose. If God only puts one person in your life that you are to make His Name famous to that is perfectly enough. May we not pick up any burden or pressure to perform. Jesus already did, and his performance accomplished ALL things. He is the one who will speak and be "the voice" through us.
Abba, we thank you for your mighty love and wisdom. You are the faithful God who won't let us go. Thank you that you have a name that deserves to be famous. Help us to live in the freedom you have won for us on the cross. Help us to make Your Name famous. Amen.